I Miss My Friends
This has been one of the most emotionally draining weeks of my life.
So, I'm very much an animal person and get very attached to my pets; more attached than someone probably should, but I just can't help it. So about a week ago my cat went missing.
He's gone missing before, but this time is different, his food isn't being touched and there is no sign of him being anywhere around our house. It all just seems so wrong, especially right in the New Year. I know that this is just one of the risks of having and indoor/outdoor cat, but my parents wouldn't allow me to keep him inside all the time, plus he seemed to enjoyed roaming around, as most cats do. It just feels very wrong and very lonely now that he's gone. I have no one to have my breakfast with, or to watch dumb television show with me, or to share my dinner with; even though I shouldn't, it just doesn't feel right. I just miss him so much.
It's strange because I've had other cats go missing after a few months or even a couple years, but I have never felt so upset about it. There was just something really special about my little Bubs (Snooks) that has really left me with a hole in my heart. I usually don't like writing such depressing things, but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this because nobody loved this cat the way I did. He was my best friend, and I just want him back. Any time anyone brings up the subject of him missing, I just can't seem to stop my eyes tearing up and I usually have to leave the room to go upstairs and cry until I calm down.
I also think today has been especially rough because Gemma (my other cat) had to be put down 6 months ago today (July 11, 2013) due to old age, so my life has gone from having two amazing cats to a very empty house in such a short amount of time. It's just feels very wrong to not have any cats as I've had at least one cat in my life for 14 years of my life, and I'm only 18. I just keep thinking that he'll be home in the morning for his breakfast, or for his dinner, but he never turns up. I keep thinking that I'm hearing his meow or the bell from his collar ringing, but when I check, there's no one there, and it's breaking my heart. I don't know how to deal with it, and nobody else seems to really care that he's gone.
I just miss having my friend around me, even if he was just sitting with/on me while I was doing pointless things around the house, or sleeping next to me at night, or stealing food from dinner plates left alone on the table. I just really want my cat back.
My mum thinks that someone else has pick him up/been feeding him, but even if that's the case, I hate thinking that he would just leave me, as if I meant nothing to him, even though I know that I was special to him as he would seek me out when he came home, or get up when I came downstairs, or follow me around the house. He was just a really special boy and I want him to come home.
I just really need my best friend back.
Also, I don't really care if you disagree with my points, or say it was my fault as I let him outside, this journal is to help me get over my loss, not yours.